[Moments] Ennui

Been extremely domestic these few days – resting, reading, cleaning the house, making meals, doing laundry.

It’s nothing exciting, really, except that the reason for our domestication was due to Wayne getting into a close-shaved accident.

But being at home, enjoying the breeze winding through the house, the gentle touches of the sunlight (which was also perfect for laundry), and doing almost mindless chores gave me some time to think about life.

Maybe it’s what the call quarter-life crisis. I’m extremely thankful for everyone and everything I have in my life right now but especially in the recent months, I haven’t been able to shake off that intense feeling of ennui.

I watch hours pass by at work, submissions made every other week, one meeting after another, weekends come and go. It’s really not too bad, but I haven’t been able to shake of the feeling that one day I should be doing something I’m truly passionate about, advocating for something I truly believe in and taking pride in my accomplishments.

I haven’t quite seen the light yet.

So in the meantime, I just let the feeling of ennui linger while I pray about it, as I cleared out some leftover apples from the fridge and made a pot of Apple and Red Dates Beverage to lift the mood.

Ingredients:
2L of water
5 Apples
40g of rock sugar (or to taste)
A handful of red dates
Some Chinese almonds (optional)

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“Life creates itself in delirium and is undone in ennui.” – Emil Cioran

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